After IV
BONUS - Examples of Paraphrase/Praise/Probe

Podcast Intro – (Upbeat acoustic guitar music)

Jon Steele  0:09  
Hey everyone. I'm Jon Steele. And this is After IV: a podcast for InterVarsity alumni. Life after college is hard. And even a great experience with your InterVarsity chapter doesn't shield you from the challenges of transition. As we hear stories from real alumni learning how to make it in their post-InterVarsity reality, my hope is that this podcast will offer some encouragement, a few laughs and even some hope for the future. This is After IV, and these are your stories.

Interview

Seth Freeman  0:39  
We'll do a quick sidebar, I was parent on point, it's 720 the buses coming, my five year old is chosen this moment to lock herself in the bathroom tantrum. I didn't get her on the bus, I'm going to miss my class downtown nine o'clock. So everything's and everything's hanging on my getting her out the door, the bus is leaving in two minutes. And your NAP your default, your default moment you default in the moment like that as Dino shout, knock the door down and know that that's not gonna work. You can, she'll be in therapy for weeks after after something like that. So that's not gonna work. So what to do so like, instantly, you mentioned hostage negotiating, I instantly became a hostage negotiator and shouting, yelling, and I say you're upset, sweepy you're angry, you don't want to be forced to go out when you don't want to you you don't want to have to wear that bookbag so quickly. And slowly, you can actually feel the anger stun. Wow. And then about 90 seconds after the door slammed, it flies open, she starts laughing she leaps into my arms. I laugh through the door, out the door to the bus on the bus bias we'd be and race to the subway, and I made it to class on time. And who knew hostage negotiation for Tots? 

And your questions can open them up a little little? You know, that's very interesting. How comfortable? Are you with this viewer? You know, what's your confidence level? Or tell me? You know, here's where I'm a little confused. I've read this. And that seems to be different from what I'm hearing you say? How do you make sense of those that that sort of thing. And you're not trying to trick them? You're just trying to almost like a child, ask Jared simple questions and learn. And go further. Now it may very well be you know, you could be talking to somebody who believes in the Flat Earth Theory. There's actually legitimate ways to do paraphrase probe with somebody who believes in the flat earth theory, first, you can affirm, you can say back what they're saying, then you can truly affirm them. Because you could say, look, I really appreciate that you want. You don't want to just rely on some authority telling you you genuinely want evidence. And that's the true spirit of science. And I really appreciate that, and I share it and you've actually raised a very good question. I don't know why. If the Earth spins at 1000 miles an hour, we don't feel that. But we do feel a carousel spinning at five miles there. That's a really good question. I want to learn more about that. And here's where I'm puzzled. And what did I just do? I just truthfully validated my character, my friend. But I'm not buying his argument. I'm just engaging with it. And then I can ask questions. And then at some point, I can share my own views. Because I've earned that. And I can say, well, you know, let me tell you where I'm seeing some concerns here. It strikes me that the Flat Earth Theory has these problems with it. And I'm a little concerned that it may be undermining or reflecting a general loss of faith in science. And I'm seeing people who are rejecting some very important ideas and scientific theories in the same way. And that's why I want to be very careful about this. And what have you just done. You've shared your own view, but you've done it in a context where you've shown that you are respectful and loving. And in that context, you can't and they go. Well, you know, I never looked at it that way before. And that's often what the students report is that once they've built that foundation, they can talk. 

Several years ago now I was with my with a family member, who I love dearly and who I think he would certainly acknowledge and his family would acknowledge very strongly is very animated when it comes to politics. Say the wrong issue and he'll just start going. We usually try to avoid politics, but one Christmas we were all together as we often were. And we all decided to caravan to a a weekend house. The whole extended family and so here we are. I'll call him. Steve. Steve is driving in his car. I'm sitting next to him. And from the end, we're two hour it's a two hour trip ahead. And from the backseat, first minute of the trip. Steve's son. I'll call him Jay I said Uncle Seth, what do you think of this issue? And he asked me about the most explosive issue of the day. I can't remember what it was, you know, pick it, you know, abortion, gay rights, global war. I can't remember what it was. But it was a big one. And Steve is driving he looks at and goes, yeah. What do you think of that? And I am literally locked in a steel cage with Steve for the next two hours. And he wants me to talk about an explosive issue, what's going to happen? At the end of the drive, when he gets out, he runs into the house where all the other family have assembled. And he goes, I just had the best conversation with Seth. It was great. We talked about everything. We went deep, we went wide. I never get to have conversation like this with you. I wish we could have more. Wow. Is that you? Are you so again, it's not me. It's this process. And that's the energy that can be released.

Podcast Outro – (Upbeat acoustic guitar music)

Hey, thanks so much for joining us today, Alumni. If there was anything that you learned, really enjoyed, or that encouraged you from today's episode, would you send us a DM or tag us in a story? We'd love to hear about it. You can find us @afterivpod on Instagram and Facebook. And if you haven't already, take just a second to unlock your phone and subscribe to the podcast. If your platform lets you, leave us a rating and a review. And if you like what we're doing here, share us with your InterVarsity or other post-graduation friends. Thanks again for listening. And I will see you in the after, Alumni.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai